Just when I was thinking that my life wasn't that chaotic... today happened. My family and I woke up to a beeping sound. It was a wonderful mystery to solve. My boys raced around the house. We finally found the culprit... the fire alarm in the hallway. My husband is "mechanically challenged". There's just no other way to put it. He balanced on a chair and put the battery in. We waited for a second, and BEEP. It didn't work. He put the battery in wrong. When he tried to get it out, he broke the battery door. The alarm began to beep louder which terrified my toddler. He began to scream at the top of his lungs. My husband fiddled with it a bit, and he decided that he couldn't deal with it. He would just fix it later. What?! That is unacceptable! I couldn't function with the constant BEEP. I decided to take charge, and I dragged our huge ladder in from the garage. Of course, I bashed the walls in the process, and my toddler continued to scream. The damage to the alarm had been done, and it would need to be replaced. I called our home warranty company only to find out that our warranty had just expired. I sent in the paperwork, but apparently, they never processed it. I was forwarded to another office which was closed. BEEP! Scream! I frantically called a repairman that was working on our garage door opener (also broken). He asked if he could stop by Saturday. A big resounding NO! I would have a nervous breakdown by then. He finally gave in, and we set an appointment for Noon. In the meantime, my boys scattered all of their tools throughout the house. They banged on the walls and "helped fix the alarm". What a wonderful mess.
I had to ignore the BEEP while I got ready for a Cracker Barrel audition. On the inside I felt like chaos, but I had to look cute, happy and carefree! I don't think I pulled it off. For the audition, I sat at a table with three other actors. We just had to pretend like we were eating at Cracker Barrel. It wasn't Shakespeare. I kicked off the scene by saying how good the chicken and dumplings were. One of the actors responded that the last time he had chicken and dumplings at Cracker Barrel, there wasn't any chicken". Hello? Aren't we auditioning for a Cracker Barrel commercial? Trying to move on, I just smiled and said that the dumplings were the best part. Then, I suggested peanut butter pie for dessert. Another actor piped in that they didn't like peanut butter pie. What? It's called acting. Fake it. You don't really have to eat it, and if you do, you get paid well for it. I climbed back in my car for the drive home only to realize that my air conditioning wasn't working and my tire warning light was on. Lovely. Now, I'm just sitting and waiting for the alarm repair man. BEEP!